Coming of Age with Animals by Judy Jasek

I have been a practicing veterinarian for nearly forty years, and those years have provided a bounty of rich experiences. While most of us choose a career in veterinary medicine because we want to work with animals, it is actually very much a people profession. We quickly learn the importance of proper communication and relating to our clients. When our clients are a family with members of a variety of ages, the considerations become much more intricate. Young children will view a family animal differently than an adult, and understanding the decisions that must sometimes be made regarding the health of a pet can be impactful at many levels.

This article will describe my observations over decades of interacting with families and their animals. It is not within my expertise to present any of these as therapeutic, yet I hope they provide insight into the dynamics of the bond between human and animal family members.

These dynamics do vary with age, so I have divided this presentation into three age groups: one to ten years old; ten to twenty years old; and twenty to thirty years of age.

One to Ten Years

Baby animals and baby humans, does it get any cuter than that? Just check out the multitude of social media videos on the topic; the choices are endless and the content is irresistible. Sometimes as naughty as they are cute, the roly-poly antics of these youngsters can entertain for hours. Even more enchanting are the interactions between baby animals and baby humans. Human babies are often enchanted by their furry counterparts, and learn through the tactile lessons of touching fur or the poke or lick from a cold nose or rough tongue.

I often hear concerns about germs being transmitted through these sloppy smooches. Do we really need to worry about hygiene here? I think not. Animals are not the pathogen factories that some may think, but rather a great way to expose a youngster to the beneficial bacteria that strengthen a developing immune system.

While pets such as dogs and cats are the most common due to the prevalence of an urban lifestyle, I also want to include our feathered and reptile friends, as well as farm animals, in this discussion. I live in Tennessee and, with the preponderance of homesteaders here, many kids grow up not only with dogs and cats, but chickens, goats, sheep and cattle. While I do not consider hygiene a concern, it is important to use common sense and protect your little ones from other potential dangers, especially on the homestead. Mommas in any species will be protective of their young, and the sheer size of some farm animals can cause harm.

As soon as your kiddos are mobile, they are going to want to “help.” They are already enchanted by the animals, so involving them in the daily care routine can teach responsibility, organization, math and reading skills, and time management. Yes, critter care will take you longer when children are included, but isn’t this just extra time with your kids? Besides, once they are old enough, animal care can be delegated to your responsible youngsters and free up more time for you. So, train them well!

As your kids get older, they can learn to evaluate animals for signs of illness. This is a very important lesson, as catching symptoms early is essential to providing proper support that may save an animal’s life. Learning these observation skills and keeping a journal will help children develop both situational awareness and writing skills.

Animals can also provide a valuable opportunity to discuss bodily functions, cleanliness and, yes, even the birds and the bees! Children learn so much more by observing and participating than reading facts in a book, so get ready for the questions! Navigating illness, aging, and death is never easy at any age, and your youngster will need special understanding as they experience these at such a tender age. Best be prepared for your explanation. I have always found that honest answers are best: Your kids may be much more aware than you realize and will not appreciate a fib. Experiencing the pain of an illness or death alongside them can build a deeper and lasting bond. There are many resources available online to help you navigate grief with your children.

Animals can also provide a special therapeutic advantage for children with developmental disabilities or family trauma:

 

• Children will often speak or read to an animal if they are hesitant to interact with humans;
• Courtroom dogs can give comfort and courage for kids called to testify and recall painful experiences;
• Equine therapy can bring surges in development and therapeutic advances.

 

You will find many resources online for more information on these topics.

Ten to Twenty Years

This can be a “knows enough to be dangerous” age group. Children this age want to feel more grown-up and take on more responsibility, but they can often lack the maturity and life experience to make good judgment calls. At the same time, giving kids the freedom to do more on their own and make some mistakes that can be learning experiences, are key to building confidence and self-esteem. Try teaching them the animal care routine and leave written instructions for them to follow. Allowing them to expand slowly into more responsibility will build a solid foundation to carry them into young adulthood.

Children in this age group often participate in training animals and, for the homesteader, 4-H or Future Farmers of America (FFA) will also allow children this age to learn more about animals from mentors and peers. Helping them learn from their frustrations and mistakes will improve skills and confidence. And, they will appreciate your support and encouragement, rarely needing punishment because they will feel bad enough on their own if something goes wrong. And, animals are amazingly resilient and forgiving.

Moving into the tumultuous teenage years, this is a time of changing bodies, hormonal rollercoasters, and breaking away from parental influence. As tough and independent as teenagers may appear on the outside, they will value more than ever that special bond with a loyal animal friend.

This is also a time where teens may lose a pet they grew up with. This is the loss of a friend they may have had nearly their whole life, and the impact is profound. Remember to be prepared to provide extra support and understanding during these times.

Twenty-Thirty Years

This can be the “letting go and coming back around” decade in development. By their early twenties, many young adults have left home to attend college or seek other adventures. This oftentimes means leaving animals behind in the care of mom, dad, and/or younger siblings. I have heard this story so many times when a parent brings a pet in for care and they are now the designated babysitter. Sometimes family members end up as permanent caretakers.

I also see many young adults get pets because they are so “cute,” without having thought through the level of care they may require. This is an age for freedom and exploration in the world and, while a pet may seem like a good idea in the moment, the responsibility may end up being way too limiting. If a family member is not available to help care for the animal, it may be relinquished to a shelter. This may also be a time of financial instability as new careers are launched and income may be limited.

Bottom line – late teens to early twenty-something year-olds may do well to postpone getting a personal animal until they are more settled in life. This is a time to enjoy the freedom of young adulthood with fewer ties.

The latter part of this decade, however, brings us back full circle. After college and/or a few years of freedom and exploration, more permanent relationships are often formed. I have seen many young couples “practice” parenthood by getting a pet before having human children. This can be a valuable lesson in joint decision making, distribution of duties, and ongoing responsibility.

Realizing the personal insights gained as they matured alongside family animals, it is no surprise that young couples revisit the animal bond to enrich their own intimate relationships and to help prepare them for having children of their own. And when the human babies appear to grow up with the animals, the cycle begins again.

For those of us who have never had children, animals often become the “surrogate child” that allows us to play out our parental instincts in a much lighter way. Animals are particularly important for single young adults as they can ease feelings of loneliness or not fitting in.

We can see, then, the important contribution animals make in early development. The irreplaceable bond with animals is enriching at any age, but can play an especially impactful role during maturation. While the role is different depending on the age group, animals can aid in development and learning as well as provide emotional support.

Animals enrich our lives in so many ways. Although this article is centered on the earlier years, there is not a time in life when an animal companion will not bring joy and unconditional love. If you do have the opportunity, allowing yourself and your children to experience the joy of an animal companion will provide irreplaceable memories.

 

 

Dr. Judy Jasek has nearly forty years’ experience as a practicing veterinarian. Her practice philosophy is that we do not create health, but support the body’s natural ability to attain it. Her current practice is primarily telemedicine where she helps pets with acute and chronic illness along with general wellness. https://ahavet.com/